Things I’ve Learned

As I near the end of my fiftieth year on this oddball planet we call Earth, I’ve come to reflect on some of the lessons I’ve learned. It is noted that not every thought shared here is 100% original. These are things I’ve learned, picked up along the line like a bag lady. If every tidbit here were 100% original, this post would be called THINGS I’VE MADE UP. And I’d be a jenius with a j (which I am clearly not).

* Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.

* Smart people aren’t always funny, but funny people are almost always smart.

* No human being can really speak for God.

* War is all about politics, bloodshed, and public relations.

* Cats are who we’d like to be – independent, poised and aloof creatures of mystery.

* Dogs are who we are – excitable, amiable beggars salivating for love.

* Facts aren’t always truth.

* To get anywhere, you have to be as brave as a New York pedestrian.

* Evidence is crucial.

* Old Bay is essential.

* An ordinary day is a blessing.

* Every home has a spirit, but not every house does.

* You can’t be all man without some strong female influence. And vice-versa.

* Leave while you’ll be missed.

* There are absolutely no absolutes.

* It’s important to have a Plan B, especially when you don’t have a Plan A.

* If you can’t make a decision, flip a coin. When it’s in the air, you’ll know which side you really want it to land on. Don’t look.

* Put in the time and effort and lifelong goals can be achieved.

* You can never reexamine your work enough.

* At exactly 24 inches, the circumference of my head is currently second biggest in our family.

* Saying goodbye to pets hurts. Every beloved pet remains by your side forever, but when there’s nothing left but their wounds, you have to let them go.

* If you think politics should be played like a sport, you shouldn’t be in politics. Or sports.

* Know 10 times more than you tell.

* Break the rules.

* Do much with little.

* Subvert expectations.

* Mother Nature is the ultimate ass-kicker.

* Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.


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