Valentines can be funny things.
VALENTINE’S DAY 1963
You say you still need to buy a gift?
You’re running a little late, but if you hustle (and have a time machine) we can dash (randomly) back to 1963 and check out the Bay Times for some shopping suggestions.
We could run into Gil Dunn’s drugstore for some candy, perfume or “unusual gifts.” Unusual gifts from a pharmacy are rarely good choices. Jewelry from Lee Bell’s might be a safer bet. We’ve traveled back 53 years. We can certainly make a little detour.
Or how about a special date instead of a gift? The movies maybe? There’s a Gidget flick playing at the Centreville Theatre and Charade with Carey Grant and Audrey Hepburn is in Church Hill. I was thinking Charade might be the more sophisticated choice, but then I saw the poster.
Now I think the movie’s about Carey Grant shooting Dr. Zaius from the original Planet of the Apes, and then showering fully clothed while standing in a paint roller tray. So uhhhm…
There’s a dinner dance at the American Legion.
Or if you really wanted to impress, you could buy your sweetheart a car or an ok used truck.
I’d go for the T-bird or Caddy.
On the other hand, if we want to get back to 2016, maybe we better stick with the car we’ve got.
You can make a coupon for one free foot massage or something.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
Combing through old newspapers and magazines, it’s easy to find examples of outdated sexist advertising that appears outrageous to our 21st century sensibilities. Vintage ephemera is full of text and images that reduce women solely to what they can buy to attract and keep a man.
At least the men of past eras were allowed to keep a little dignity.
A COUPLE OF A COUPLE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS:
AND THEN THERE’S THIS:
SEX ED 1973
Like Mr. Peters was the band teacher for every kid in my county during a certain era, Mrs. Wharton was our sex ed teacher:
I once told my whole kindergarten class that the way babies got out of their mommies was by saying “open sesame.”
So I really learned a lot in Mrs. Wharton’s class.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
REMEMBER WHAT MRS. WHARTON TAUGHT YOU!